Have we really started to confront the ways in which systemic racism and misogyny intersect, particularly with Black women? We continuously see this unsettling tendency to defend men—regardless of their behavior—when they do harm (mental, emotional, financial, physical) to Black women.
The media is inundated right now with the news of Sean "Diddy" Combs and his mounting allegations of abusive behavior. Despite this, so many continue to defend him, falling back on his status and contributions to the music industry as reasons to overlook his actions. What’s sad is that this support comes mostly from Black men. This creates a troubling narrative that fame can shield you from accountability. And as Black women, it speaks volumes to us.
This behavior is part of a broader cultural issue that prioritizes the protection of men, especially those in power, over the well-being of others. The impulse to defend these men often stems from a mix of loyalty, admiration, and a refusal to confront uncomfortable truths.
Defending men like Diddy sends a dangerous message: the achievements of a man can absolve him of harmful behavior. This not only undermines the experiences of the women who suffer due to their actions but also perpetuates a cycle of abuse and misogyny. By refusing to hold them accountable, we implicitly endorse the idea that their fame and success place them above reproach.
Our culture normalizes harmful behavior. Every attempt is made to discredit what Black women say. It fosters an environment where Black women feel unsafe and unsupported.
When society turns a blind eye to the wrongdoings of powerful men, it sends a clear message that our voices and experiences are less important. Unfortunately, we have gotten to the point where we expect it.
Remember back in 1995 at the Source Awards when Suge Knight walked up on stage and asked if artists wanted a different kind of management that didn’t include the executive producer “all in the videos, all on the records… dancing, they should get with Death Row?
We didn’t see any danger when Diddy got on stage that night and actually promoted peace. We didn’t see a villain dancing right in front of us.
Until Cassie’s lawsuit.
For thirty-five pages, Cassie’s lawyers mapped out a history of rape, violence, sex trafficking, human trafficking, sexual battery and sexual assault. The lawsuit was so damaging that it came with a trigger warning. The outline of Diddy we all thought we knew (or what we thought we saw) was now doused with colors so dark that he settled out of court the very next day. Trust and believe that price was not the previous day’s price. Rightfully so.
We knew Diddy was the hard-driving boss who once made aspiring artists walk to get him a Junior’s cheesecake during his reality show, Making the Band, because he was once willing to do anything to make it. We were all sold the image of the motivated intern turned mogul who literally pulled himself up by his Jodeci-style boot straps.
For years, former Bad Boy bodyguard Gene Deal told anybody who would listen that Diddy was not the man he appeared to be. Well yeah… cause any grown man with a man-servant is, at best, different.
Well, now we see. Literally, we see the evil with our own eyes. And people in Hollywood saying they’ve known for years that Diddy was into this and that; doing this and that. Even after seeing him on video beating Cassie in front of an elevator, as she tried to leave. We see he’s a monster now. And yet, people still support him.
Stop saying, “They’re just bringing another Black man down.” How?? Hasn’t he brought his own self down, by abusing women? Forget about how many bottles of baby oil were confiscated – this man is an abuser. Women have been harmed in the worst ways possible. And Diddy has gotten away with this for years, in plain sight. Stop defending him when you know he's wrong.
Tory Lanez shot Megan Thee Stallion in the foot. There was video of her limping and blood, and he still had defenders who were running to say that this was all a setup. Meg was vilified in the media, and till this day, there are those that don’t believe her. Even after he’s been convicted and sentenced to prison, there are still people saying Lanez is innocent and Meg is lying about being shot. Singer Mario and Iggy Azalea (of all people) even wrote character letters on Lanez’s behalf.
In R Kelly’s case, the tactic seemed to rely on portraying his accusers as opportunists looking to use him for his fame and money and exploit the #MeToo movement. Victim-blaming is, unfortunately, a part of defending. Black women and girls often face harsh victim-blaming in sexual assault cases, even as Black women and girls experience higher rates of rape and other forms of sexual violence than their white female counterparts. Society hypersexualizes Black girls, with racism and sexism leading to stereotypes and denying them autonomy and even safety.
The victim-blaming is only exacerbated by adultification bias, in which children are deemed adult-like and lacking innocence. Adults view Black girls as less child-like than white girls and, therefore, have less empathy for them. This adultification is linked to harsh treatment and high standards for Black girls. Almost like they are just birthed grown.
When we say “Believe Black Women,” and “Trust Black Women,” it’s not just a hashtag to put on social media. It’s the cries and pleas of every Black woman who has been disrespected, unprotected and neglected.
The truth is this: Each day offers an opportunity for someone, anyone to challenge the horrendous allegations that could cast Diddy in a different light. Meanwhile, the silence of those who want to distance themselves from him speaks volumes.
The music industry has always protected violent men, and we all — men included — need to be having more honest conversations about it. One thing we know for sure is that Black girls aren’t protected, but men in positions of power are.
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